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17 April 2015 @ 08:24 pm

I sit here sipping expensive liqour, Jack Daniel's Honey to be exact, from a beautiful handcrafted monogrammed tumbler with a nice large single spherical ice ball.  The ice ball was made using a special ice mold given to us by a friend. I'm live in a beautiful 150 year old two story house filled with gorgeous antiques, and I'm watching the sun set from one of the porches. Next I'll probably retire to the den with another glass of JD Honey with another specially molded ice sphere, or a glass of moderately priced champaign from a bottle I'll probably finish off before the night is through.

Now I've caught a chill from the brisk spring evening breeze blowing gently through the screened windows.  I put on my lavishly plush bath robe to keep the chill off. Next I'll most likely put on a bluray on my (passive) 3D Smart LED/LCD 55" Television, or turn on my most current generation game console to play a game using internet and game console subscription. After I drink enough to make my reaction time so slow that I'll be bad at whatever game I'm playing I'll put on the satelite television to one the hundreds of channels to which we subscribe. Most likely it'll be one of the premium movie channels that are part of our "get all the channels" subscription, because I'm such a sucker for the movies.

Before the evening is done he will call and ask me how my day was, and I'll tell him about all the nothing I did all day long. This is the call I've been waiting for, because it lets me know that it's getting late. I'll probably have a snack, and move my television watching to the 42" LCD television in our bedroom. I'll strip all my cloths off and climb into the covers. I rest better when I sleep in the nude. However, his reluctance/discomfort with nude sleeping makes me self concious, so I only do it when I'm home alone. I'll watch some pointless mind numbing show until my eyes get heavy around 2am or so at which point I'll turn the television off, turn my noise maker on, take a sip from the water bottle on my nightstand, take my glasses off, and stare at the fan whirling in the dark until I finally drift off into darkness.

In the morning I'll sleep until about 11am, because it will be Saturday. During the week I'll only sleep until 9:30 or 10:00 which is probably better than most people who have to get up, dress, and drive to some place of business to do their daily work. Not me. I typically work from home. I man the office until around 6:00pm answering phones, returning emails, and complete other general office duties.  After "work" chances are good that I'll repeat the entire process.

When I look back at these previously written paragraphs my life doesn't look so bad. As a matter of fact there are people who dream of living this way. Even 1st world people with good jobs dream of having this sort of sedintary life. But you know the grass is always greener and all that bullshit.

I know I have a good life, but I long for a great life. This is probably a selfish thought...especially considering how good I have it. So what do I have to bitch about? Well, let me tell you. There's always something. Am I the only person who seems to have it all, but somehow wants more? Not in the slightest.

You see this life is fine. It's just not mine.

When I was young I had hopes and dreams. I won't take for granted that I've seen and done some incredible things. I just know there's more out there for me, and I'm just not ready to settle into this laid back country life. Don't be fooled by all the conveniences I've mentioned above. We are not rich or even "well off" for that matter. I just think of it as a matter of struggling to get some of the things to make life here more tolerable. Without hundreds of channels on a wonderful HD television, and the latest games/game consoles to pass the time I'd just be sitting here watching the grass grow (or watching the fucking goats eat all the flowers/plants that we've painstakening installed).

When you live so far away from the city, life is hard for far different reasons than struggling in the daily grind. Instead of fighting traffic or scraping up money to go bar hoping with your friends. You'r scraping up money to find ways to ease the boredom. When you're in the city people to hang out with and socialize with are at closest right next door. To see my friends I have to make an hour commute (each way). This rules out random going out to go drinking with the girls simply because you don't want to get a DUI on the hour drive home. There's no club dancing until 2am because you have to tack on an hour commute to every little activity, and it's not only the time you're spending but the gas money as well. Suddenly a $50 Sunday brunch is $100 because you need a full tank of gas to get to and fro.

I'm becoming a hermit not because I'm tired of the club life or the "party scene," but instead because I'm tired of all the effort it takes to get there. So instead of spending my extra money on concert tickets, bar tabs, cover charges, theater seats, etc... I'm spending it on things that make it easier to stay home. This does nothing more than to exasterbate my reclusion. I've made it too easy to rationalize staying at home over going out and living the fun life I want. I've done it to myself. There's no one to blame but me. I miss living blocks away from my friends, walking distance from bars and restuarants, or (for the love of god) in range of pizza delivery!

First world problems, right? Even reading over this post I feel a little disgusted for bitching about how good I've got it, but it's like I always say, "You can't help how you feel."

Sorry for all the bitching, but it's been one of those weeks.

Current Location: Shelbyville, TN
I feel:: sullen
I'm Listening to:: none - it's too quiet
12 September 2012 @ 05:45 pm
Dear people of the internet,
Please use correct capitalization when filling out online forms or form fields.  Unless of course you hate me in which case keep doing it because it makes my days so much longer. 
Person that has to do lots of data entry and database work
Current Location: Desk
I feel:: annoyedAnnoyed
I'm Listening to:: None
24 July 2012 @ 10:34 am
*Gonna get on a Soapbox for a second*
Have you heard the story of Petra Anderson?  According to the Blogousphere and internet news Petra is one of the survivors of the Colorado Dark Knight shooting.  Apparently Petra survived a buckshot to the head because of a rare brain defect which passed the small piece of metal through her brain without injury.  I'll let you read the stories for yourself, but here's my grip.  Many are calling it a blessing from God, and attributing her survival to a divine miracle.   
Normally, Even though I'm not a religious person, I don't get overly bent out of shape with people who throw around the God card.  However, in this particular instance it's getting under my skin.  It pisses me off a little that people are praising Jesus over Petra's unlikely coincidence.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she survived the incident, but I find Praising God over Petra's survival disrespectful to the families of the people who clearly were not as "blessed."  

20 June 2012 @ 01:49 am

Oasis of Marr circa 1999

For some reason I was thinking about my adventures in Everquest tonight.  Then I realized EverQuest came out in 1999.  If I'd been playing uninterrupted for all this time I'd have spent over $3500 on the game (in monthly subscriptions, expansions, and items/gold), and have 13 years worth of veterans rewards!  

Some of things I remember about EverQuest:

  • Back in those days we didn't have in-game maps/mini maps, we had to survive on /locs 
  • We didn't have complex HUDs we had to rely on very few UI buttons in combination with complex keyboard commands
  • There was no V-chat or custom chat channels.  You chatted via two or three chat channels
  • If you didn't have the holy trinity (Warrior, Cleric, DPS) you didn't survive
  • There was no instancing so you had to literally wait days for your turn to "spawn camp" for a certain item that was usually a rare item that you had to wait days to "drop"
  • There were no quest identifiers you just had to /hail every NPC to see if it they had a quest or quest chain for you
  • Travel was only by boats which you had to sit on until the arrived at your port which could take hours (real time).
  • There were no mounts so if you didn't travel with a druid, shaman, or bard it could take hours just to get where you needed to be... assuming of course you knew how to get there (because no maps!)
  • There was no "common" language so if you wanted to communicate with others you had to first learn those races' language (which could forever depending on you int)
  • KOS was somehow much more severe
  • You didn't AFK unless your character was in a safe spot
  • You didn't AFK EVER if you were on a PVP server
  • If you didn't know a necromancer you just shouldn't die ever due to the arduous task of "Corpse runs"  
  • If you didn't retrieve your corpse you lost everything you owned (including armor, weapons, ect.. that took hours upon hours to acquire or craft, unless you remembered to put it in the bank)
  • There were no crafting recipes.. you just had to wing it until you figured out what combinations yielded results
  • The was no "market place" or auction chat channel.  To sell your unneeded goods at a good profit you had to travel to Greater Faydark (otherwise known as the Greater FayMart or Gfay) and shout what you had for sell at what price until someone sent you a tell to negotiate
  • There were no level guides or gold/item sellers if you wanted something you had to either find it, make it, or buy it from another player in Gfay
  • If you ran out of money you had to farm for it typically from Mountain Giants who notably always carried the most coin
  • If you cast a spell you had to stand perfectly still otherwise you'd see the dreaded "you're spell has been interrupted" Being hit could also cause spell interruption
  • Stats and Gear seemed much more crucial than they do in today's games 
  • The only way to get out of a "death loop" was to unplug your PC
Gamers of today have it easy.  Systems are more intuitive, UI's are also User Friendly... There are some things I certainly miss about old MMO's but there are some things that I'll never miss.
07 May 2012 @ 04:46 pm
Weight: 180lbs

Ok so I'm gonna be honest. The first couple of days of the drops were a little difficult because they seemed to have a fairly potent laxative effect. I know that's probably TMI, but I'm going for full disclosure there. I work/school from home so that's not really a bad thing. The only time it really affected me was when I took the drops prior to seeing the Avengers on day 1 (Friday). In all honesty I can't be sure if it was the drops, because the effect seems to have diminished.

I did change up my diet a little. Yesterday and Today I had a Slimfast shake for Breakfast and Lunch. Not really out of the norm for me since I sometimes do this out of convenience or just plain laziness (as in I don't feel like preparing food). This time it was pretty much laziness because I hadn't been to the market, and everything else would have had to been preped, a process I'm not willing to go through when it would have just been me eating.

I didn't weight myself yesterday, but I did today, and it appears that I have lost a little over 3lbs. I approximate a little over because the scale is reading -3lbs, but I initially weighed in the nude, and today I weight with Jeans and a T-shirt on (which I can't imagine weigh over 1lb combined).

I'm thinking this could be water weight lose when I consider the situation from day 1 and 2, so I guess we'll see if this persists.

I'm thinking I'll go ahead and get another pack of weight lose shakes while I'm at the market today, because I'm liking the combined results so far. I'll continue to keep this journal posted until hopefully I'm within my goal weight range. (165-170lbs)

OH! forgot to mention I've also been very active these past few days. Today I did 30min on Dance Central... yesterday I cleaned out a tractor shed... and I'm sure I played DC2 on either Fri or Sat. So I'm being a little more active than I have been in the recent past.
Current Location: Home
I'm Listening to:: Silence
05 May 2012 @ 12:35 pm
Trying them out. This is day two. I have not changed my diet/eating habits.

Current weight 183.

I'll use this journal to keep up with my results.
Current Location: Home
I feel:: boredBored
04 May 2012 @ 09:02 pm
Dear Joss Whedon,

If the Avengers sequel is less than 4 hours long... it will be too short. Also, if you ever stop making films I will die of sorrow.



PS - I am forever in your debt for that 3D ass shot of Chris Evans in clingy sweat pants.
Current Location: Home
I feel:: energeticEnergetic
04 April 2012 @ 11:42 am
I'm not entirely sure why, but these Christian FB Memes and Chain posts are really starting to piss me off.

"Scroll past this if you love the Devil, Share/Like if you love Jesus!"
"If you scroll past this then you're going to hell, if you Share/Like then you're going to Heaven"
"The only two places you'll get unconditional love is from God, or God spelled backwards"


I mean, since when did scrolling past a crappy piece of religious art or a text *.jpg constitute a sin? Furthermore, I don't have a dog, and I do love my family unconditionally, and I'm fairly sure they reciprocate.

On top of everything to add insult to injury the put you in a position where saying anything negative about it will almost certainly get you flamed.

I suppose the older, wiser, and more knowledgeable I become the more jaded I become with organized religion. This is an interesting paradox when it comes to politics and government. One the one hand it's unconstitutional to govern with bias towards a particular religion yet without a platform based on Christian values it's nearly impossible to get elected. But I digress.
Current Location: House, Upstairs, Office
I feel:: annoyedAnnoyed
30 March 2012 @ 08:16 pm
Ok so today was sort of peculiar. It started off normal I woke up to Mark getting ready for work and leaving. Then I guess I sorta floated through the day going through the routine.

The MegaMillions is at $640million dollars, so yesterday I thought to myself, "I have to get tickets." Even though I know that everyone else in Lottery states are buying tickets which means there's a lesser chance of me winning than ever, but still there's an even lesser chance of winning if I never bought a ticket in the first place.

So I start yesterday spending my lottery winnings in my head. I start daydreaming of buying new cars for my Mom, Rick, Tiffany, Mark, and myself. I thought it'd be cool if we got all matching fully loaded 2012 Chevy Camero Convertibles with personality paint jobs.

Mom's would be fire engine Red with a Harley Davidson emblem on it wrapped in roses and thorns

Ricky's would be murdered out except for the glossy skulls painted in and have blacked out head and tail lights and black-light neons (though it's a toss up weather or not he'd want a rag top-- I doubt he would but it's fucking free so he'd get over it)

Tiffany's would be Purple probably with some Rock-a-Billy design going down the side in skulls and cross bones.

Mark's would be Baby Blue to match his eyes... no details in the paint though because he's more conventional when it comes to cars.

Mine would be fleck silver with black and some sort of pink tron style detailed lights embedded into it.

So I started thinking what would I do with the car that I have now (that I just bought a few months ago).... Oh! I know... perhaps I'll do something charitable with it like give it to my old friend Veronica who's always on hard times. Keep in mind I hadn't thought about her in forever, because we just aren't close anymore. So this same thought process continues on into today when I go buy my tickets.

When I get home with them I decide I'll play Dance Central for awhile to burn some Calories from my big lunch. I play for 30min, but during the first "free style" I notice that on the Xbox Camera in that weird psychidelic free style screen is picking up two people. I sort of freaked me out because I'm the only person home, and I even survey the room to see if there's something that it could be picking up that resembles a person. I go so far as to sit where the camera is and look at the room which is relatively small... Nothing.

So I continue to play and during the next freestyle dance break... it's only me. At this point I get chills. I so I keep playing for the entire "work out" mode session in hopes that to ease my mind the camera will pick it up again, but in 13 other songs... nothing. I tried to shrug it off, but I can't seem to let it go.

I go upstairs to send an email and check FB... I get an instant message from two mutual friends informing me that Veronica has died. I don't know that they incidences have anything in common, but all things considered this day has been very macabre.
Current Location: House, Upstairs, Office
I feel:: melancholyMelancholy
I'm Listening to:: Nothing
29 March 2012 @ 02:34 pm
Spoiler ALERT!

So I finished reading 'the Hunger Games'. Collectively I think I really only spent a couple of hours reading it. It would have taken me one afternoon but I got very invested in watching the complete first season of Being Human (US) which I liked very much, but that's another review.

I have to say it was ... OK. It was an easy read, and the plot is very inventive. Unfortunately, some of the plot points became incredibly predictable. The only one that took me by surprise was when the GameKeepers made the announcement that District tributes could team up and win in as a pair. I literally almost stopped reading at this point and threw the book into the trash. I figured since I had already made it that far I might as well finish since there were only 1 or 2 chapters left after that point. I was please when I discovered that the announcement was a rouse, but from that point forward I really didn't like how the book was handled. The Muttations and Cato's death was just stupid. I'd much rather have had them fight it out.

I suppose it's because of the target audience for the book, but many of the deaths in the arena were sort of a cop-out to keep Katniss and Peeta from being full on murderers. I get it it's a love story...blah blah blah... But this is exactly why I'm not interested in reading the other books in the series. The Hunger Games is a very clever concept and touches on many world issues (I'd bet this was sort of accidental), but the story is the same ole' love triangle whole that most female writers fall into. I realize I can't generalize to every female writer, but it does seam to be quite typical especially when considering female writers who target a teenage/young adult audience.

The double suicide was ill conceived. I mean if they Capitol was smart enough to realize the love story was driving the success of this year's hunger games they'd also realize that making the lovers fight to the death would be viewed as an incredibly barbaric thing to do. How could a public urging the love story want to see one lover kill the other? This especially true considered the betting aspect of the games. Who in their right mind would have bet on Peeta winning?! I mean he's hobbled and weak, and the clear star crossed lover of the arena...there's no way anyone would bet he'd kill Katniss. I do admire that Suzanne Collins thought enough to make it seem like the games don't exactly end when it's over, and everything just doesn't turn into Peaches and Cream when the victors return home. I do think there was probably a better ending tot he book though.

By the time I finished the book I realized this love triangle will surely dominate the series, and I just hate that the detail of this cool original/inventive world is going to go to waste and take a backseat to this uninventive/unoriginal love triangle plot.

I'm sure there are some things I've left out, so I'll be sure and -edite- if necessary.

On another note the