I sit here sipping expensive liqour, Jack Daniel's Honey to be exact, from a beautiful handcrafted monogrammed tumbler with a nice large single spherical ice ball. The ice ball was made using a special ice mold given to us by a friend. I'm live in a beautiful 150 year old two story house filled with gorgeous antiques, and I'm watching the sun set from one of the porches. Next I'll probably retire to the den with another glass of JD Honey with another specially molded ice sphere, or a glass of moderately priced champaign from a bottle I'll probably finish off before the night is through.
Now I've caught a chill from the brisk spring evening breeze blowing gently through the screened windows. I put on my lavishly plush bath robe to keep the chill off. Next I'll most likely put on a bluray on my (passive) 3D Smart LED/LCD 55" Television, or turn on my most current generation game console to play a game using internet and game console subscription. After I drink enough to make my reaction time so slow that I'll be bad at whatever game I'm playing I'll put on the satelite television to one the hundreds of channels to which we subscribe. Most likely it'll be one of the premium movie channels that are part of our "get all the channels" subscription, because I'm such a sucker for the movies.
Before the evening is done he will call and ask me how my day was, and I'll tell him about all the nothing I did all day long. This is the call I've been waiting for, because it lets me know that it's getting late. I'll probably have a snack, and move my television watching to the 42" LCD television in our bedroom. I'll strip all my cloths off and climb into the covers. I rest better when I sleep in the nude. However, his reluctance/discomfort with nude sleeping makes me self concious, so I only do it when I'm home alone. I'll watch some pointless mind numbing show until my eyes get heavy around 2am or so at which point I'll turn the television off, turn my noise maker on, take a sip from the water bottle on my nightstand, take my glasses off, and stare at the fan whirling in the dark until I finally drift off into darkness.
In the morning I'll sleep until about 11am, because it will be Saturday. During the week I'll only sleep until 9:30 or 10:00 which is probably better than most people who have to get up, dress, and drive to some place of business to do their daily work. Not me. I typically work from home. I man the office until around 6:00pm answering phones, returning emails, and complete other general office duties. After "work" chances are good that I'll repeat the entire process.
When I look back at these previously written paragraphs my life doesn't look so bad. As a matter of fact there are people who dream of living this way. Even 1st world people with good jobs dream of having this sort of sedintary life. But you know the grass is always greener and all that bullshit.
I know I have a good life, but I long for a great life. This is probably a selfish thought...especially considering how good I have it. So what do I have to bitch about? Well, let me tell you. There's always something. Am I the only person who seems to have it all, but somehow wants more? Not in the slightest.
You see this life is fine. It's just not mine.
When I was young I had hopes and dreams. I won't take for granted that I've seen and done some incredible things. I just know there's more out there for me, and I'm just not ready to settle into this laid back country life. Don't be fooled by all the conveniences I've mentioned above. We are not rich or even "well off" for that matter. I just think of it as a matter of struggling to get some of the things to make life here more tolerable. Without hundreds of channels on a wonderful HD television, and the latest games/game consoles to pass the time I'd just be sitting here watching the grass grow (or watching the fucking goats eat all the flowers/plants that we've painstakening installed).
When you live so far away from the city, life is hard for far different reasons than struggling in the daily grind. Instead of fighting traffic or scraping up money to go bar hoping with your friends. You'r scraping up money to find ways to ease the boredom. When you're in the city people to hang out with and socialize with are at closest right next door. To see my friends I have to make an hour commute (each way). This rules out random going out to go drinking with the girls simply because you don't want to get a DUI on the hour drive home. There's no club dancing until 2am because you have to tack on an hour commute to every little activity, and it's not only the time you're spending but the gas money as well. Suddenly a $50 Sunday brunch is $100 because you need a full tank of gas to get to and fro.
I'm becoming a hermit not because I'm tired of the club life or the "party scene," but instead because I'm tired of all the effort it takes to get there. So instead of spending my extra money on concert tickets, bar tabs, cover charges, theater seats, etc... I'm spending it on things that make it easier to stay home. This does nothing more than to exasterbate my reclusion. I've made it too easy to rationalize staying at home over going out and living the fun life I want. I've done it to myself. There's no one to blame but me. I miss living blocks away from my friends, walking distance from bars and restuarants, or (for the love of god) in range of pizza delivery!
First world problems, right? Even reading over this post I feel a little disgusted for bitching about how good I've got it, but it's like I always say, "You can't help how you feel."
Sorry for all the bitching, but it's been one of those weeks.